Fucktits, anyone?

Mar 30

thedailywhat: Late Links: Go Trojans!: USC co-eds caught have sex on roof of campus building. Bikini Tuesday: Brooklyn Decker, Irina Shayk and JWoWW. Cleavage Tuesday: Sofia Vergara and Kristin Cavallari. Pretty In Print: Kate Bosworth in Nylon; Eva Amurri in Maxim (bts). Get To Know A Hottie: Jessica Perez. International Beauty of the Day: Natsuki Ikeda. Dlisted: Why, Hello There, Rob Lowe. FilmDrunk: James Franco to teach slam poetry at NYU. Holy Taco: Product Review: Ron de Jeremy, The Rum By Porn Legend Ron Jeremy. Late List: 100 Sexy British Babes. [photo: failblog.] lol

thedailywhat:

Late Links:

[photo: failblog.]

lol

(Source: thedailywhat)

Feb 12

look-at-this-fucking: -Look at this Fucking Badassery- The whole time I watched Black Swan this was all I could think about Ah, Damion, how you jam my boner. <3

look-at-this-fucking:

-Look at this Fucking Badassery-

The whole time I watched Black Swan this was all I could think about

Ah, Damion, how you jam my boner. <3

Jan 20

funnyordie: 7 Examples of White People Ruining Hip-Hop Conor Mangan&#8217;s wet dream&#8230;

funnyordie:

7 Examples of White People Ruining Hip-Hop

Conor Mangan’s wet dream…

Jan 19

thedailywhat: [pleatedjeans.] I lol&#8217;d

thedailywhat:

[pleatedjeans.]

I lol’d

(via thedailywhat)

Jan 06

thisiswhyismoke: It’s winter break. Here are snippets from conversations and quotes from my mother. For reference, Azade is my sister and Angelo is my little brother. Mom: This is my Christmas; don’t ruin it again, Alex. Mom: Do whatever makes you happy. And being a physician will make you happy. Mom: I want to send you guys to Costa Rica. Go next week. Me: Why? Mom: Because, I want to send you somewhere you’ll enjoy. Me: Okay, then send me to Boise, Idaho. Mom: Why Idaho? Me: Because, it’ll be fun. I’ll enjoy it. Mom: But you’ll freeze your nuts off. You’ll enjoy Costa Rica more. Me: So I can be dragged around by your friend all day to see shit I don’t want to see? Mom: No. Me: Then send me to Boise. Mom: (swallows pride) Okay. Me: I think you have a gross misunderstanding of the English language. 1am Mom: ALEX! GET TO BED! Me (while in bed): I AM in bed. Mom: No you’re not! Get to bed! Me (sarcastically): Oh, shit. This isn’t my bed. Where am I? Mom: Why don’t you believe in God? Me: Because I’m 23. Mom: What does that have to do with anything? Me: I’m too old to have imaginary friends. Mom: Why don’t you believe in God? Me: Because I don’t believe he exists. Mom: Well, prove that he doesn’t. Me: First, I believe there’s a teapot orbiting behind the Moon. Prove that there isn’t. Mom: Well, it doesn’t matter to me if there is. Me: And it doesn’t matter to me that you believe in an imaginary thing, either. Mom: How many children do you want? Me: 16. Mom: I’m trying to have a serious and nice conversation. Me: And I want my wife to have two litters of children. Mom: If you’re not going to be serious, then shut up. Me: I’m 22! I don’t even have a girlfriend! I’m not out of college! Why would I want to think about children!? Mom: I’m just trying to have a conversation with you. Me: Fine, I don’t really want my wife to have 16 children. Mom: Then how many do you want? Me: Oh, I want 16. I just expect her to have some before we get married. Mom: Death glare Mom: Azade’s in Japan? Here, tell her to contact my friend there. Me: Okay, what’s her info? Mom: Here. Me: Okay, how did you two meet? When? How old is she? Mom: We met in the airport in Hawaii a year or two ago. She’s about Azade’s age. Angelo: That lady that never replied to the e-mails? Mom: She replied to one of them. Me: Wait, what e-mails? Angelo: She replied to one, but the next three she ignored. Me: What’s going on here? Mom: Maybe she didn’t get them. Angelo: That doesn’t seem right. Me: There were e-mails? What’s going on? Mom: I told her my kids would contact her, so Angelo e-mailed her. Me: Oh, so some random person decided it would be a grand idea that her kids contact another random person? Mom: She knows who we are. Now, tell her Azade’s coming to visit. Me: But what if Azade is nowhere near her? Mom: How big do you think Japan is? Me: Larger than you think, apparently. It’s like saying “Oh, I’m in the US. Come visit me. Oh, you’re in California? I’m in Iowa.” Mom: Just send Azade her info. Me: What’s that symbol here? Mom: That’s a smiley face. Me: It’s in front of the phone number. Mom: It’s a smiley face. Me: I think it’s the area code. Mom: Whatever. (Nurse commercial playing) Me: Maybe I should be a nurse. Mom: You’re just trying to break my nuts, aren’t you? Me: Excuse me? Mom: You heard me. Expect more next week.

thisiswhyismoke:

It’s winter break. Here are snippets from conversations and quotes from my mother. For reference, Azade is my sister and Angelo is my little brother.

Mom: This is my Christmas; don’t ruin it again, Alex.

Mom: Do whatever makes you happy. And being a physician will make you happy.

Mom: I want to send you guys to Costa Rica. Go next week.
Me: Why?
Mom: Because, I want to send you somewhere you’ll enjoy.
Me: Okay, then send me to Boise, Idaho.
Mom: Why Idaho?
Me: Because, it’ll be fun. I’ll enjoy it.
Mom: But you’ll freeze your nuts off. You’ll enjoy Costa Rica more.
Me: So I can be dragged around by your friend all day to see shit I don’t want to see?
Mom: No.
Me: Then send me to Boise.
Mom: (swallows pride) Okay.

Me: I think you have a gross misunderstanding of the English language.

1am
Mom: ALEX! GET TO BED!
Me (while in bed): I AM in bed.
Mom: No you’re not! Get to bed!
Me (sarcastically): Oh, shit. This isn’t my bed. Where am I?

Mom: Why don’t you believe in God?
Me: Because I’m 23.
Mom: What does that have to do with anything?
Me: I’m too old to have imaginary friends.

Mom: Why don’t you believe in God?
Me: Because I don’t believe he exists.
Mom: Well, prove that he doesn’t.
Me: First, I believe there’s a teapot orbiting behind the Moon. Prove that there isn’t.
Mom: Well, it doesn’t matter to me if there is.
Me: And it doesn’t matter to me that you believe in an imaginary thing, either.

Mom: How many children do you want?
Me: 16.
Mom: I’m trying to have a serious and nice conversation.
Me: And I want my wife to have two litters of children.
Mom: If you’re not going to be serious, then shut up.
Me: I’m 22! I don’t even have a girlfriend! I’m not out of college! Why would I want to think about children!?
Mom: I’m just trying to have a conversation with you.
Me: Fine, I don’t really want my wife to have 16 children.
Mom: Then how many do you want?
Me: Oh, I want 16. I just expect her to have some before we get married.
Mom: Death glare

Mom: Azade’s in Japan? Here, tell her to contact my friend there.
Me: Okay, what’s her info?
Mom: Here.
Me: Okay, how did you two meet? When? How old is she?
Mom: We met in the airport in Hawaii a year or two ago. She’s about Azade’s age.
Angelo: That lady that never replied to the e-mails?
Mom: She replied to one of them.
Me: Wait, what e-mails?
Angelo: She replied to one, but the next three she ignored.
Me: What’s going on here?
Mom: Maybe she didn’t get them.
Angelo: That doesn’t seem right.
Me: There were e-mails? What’s going on?
Mom: I told her my kids would contact her, so Angelo e-mailed her.
Me: Oh, so some random person decided it would be a grand idea that her kids contact another random person?
Mom: She knows who we are. Now, tell her Azade’s coming to visit.
Me: But what if Azade is nowhere near her?
Mom: How big do you think Japan is?
Me: Larger than you think, apparently. It’s like saying “Oh, I’m in the US. Come visit me. Oh, you’re in California? I’m in Iowa.”
Mom: Just send Azade her info.
Me: What’s that symbol here?
Mom: That’s a smiley face.
Me: It’s in front of the phone number.
Mom: It’s a smiley face.
Me: I think it’s the area code.
Mom: Whatever.

(Nurse commercial playing)
Me: Maybe I should be a nurse.
Mom: You’re just trying to break my nuts, aren’t you?
Me: Excuse me?
Mom: You heard me.



Expect more next week.

Dec 26

[video]

Dec 25

via thisiswhyismoke: 4 cigarettes while driving home. That’s a ~3 hour drive. My mother called me this afternoon to remind me that I need to drive home. This was our conversation: “…hurry up and drive home. It’s getting dark”. It was 1:13pm. So I drive home around 3pm. I had to stop by Wal-Mart to pick up oil for may car. I forgot Christmas was close. It explained why the parking lot was in chaos. It was an okay drive. Long and drawn out, but okay overall. I hate that drive because it’s boring. The drive back to Merced is worse. There’s a Christian billboard that either says “Jesus Died For Your Sins” or “God Loves You”. Thank you, Christians, I almost forgot. That billboard makes me want to be a better Christian. Or Hell, it makes me want to convert. That one billboard. Thanks.

via thisiswhyismoke:

4 cigarettes while driving home.

That’s a ~3 hour drive. My mother called me this afternoon to remind me that I need to drive home. This was our conversation:

“…hurry up and drive home. It’s getting dark”. It was 1:13pm.

So I drive home around 3pm. I had to stop by Wal-Mart to pick up oil for may car. I forgot Christmas was close. It explained why the parking lot was in chaos. It was an okay drive. Long and drawn out, but okay overall. I hate that drive because it’s boring. The drive back to Merced is worse. There’s a Christian billboard that either says “Jesus Died For Your Sins” or “God Loves You”. Thank you, Christians, I almost forgot. That billboard makes me want to be a better Christian. Or Hell, it makes me want to convert. That one billboard. Thanks.

Sep 01

liberdade: SHOCKING NEWS PHOTO SHOWS GLENN BECK IS A MUSLIM  Because all you need to make an ‘offensive’ or ‘shocking’ accusation is a little bit of Photoshop. 

liberdade:

SHOCKING NEWS

PHOTO SHOWS GLENN BECK IS A MUSLIM 

Because all you need to make an ‘offensive’ or ‘shocking’ accusation is a little bit of Photoshop. 

Aug 04

thedailywhat: Declaration of the Day: The key portion of Federal Judge Vaughn Walker’s ruling in the case of Perry v. Schwarzenegger. So let it be written. So let it be done. [ slog / andrearosen.] (via loveallthis)

thedailywhat:

Declaration of the Day: The key portion of Federal Judge Vaughn Walker’s ruling in the case of Perry v. Schwarzenegger.

So let it be written. So let it be done.

[ slog / andrearosen.]

(via loveallthis)