thedailywhat:

Late Links:

• Go Trojans!: USC co-eds caught have sex on roof of campus building.

• Bikini Tuesday: Brooklyn Decker, Irina Shayk and JWoWW.

• Cleavage Tuesday: Sofia Vergara and Kristin Cavallari.

• Pretty In Print: Kate Bosworth in Nylon; Eva Amurri in Maxim (bts).

• Get To Know A Hottie: Jessica Perez.

• International Beauty of the Day: Natsuki Ikeda.

• Dlisted: Why, Hello There, Rob Lowe.

• FilmDrunk: James Franco to teach slam poetry at NYU.

• Holy Taco: Product Review: Ron de Jeremy, The Rum By Porn Legend Ron Jeremy.

• Late List: 100 Sexy British Babes.

[photo: failblog.]

lol

look-at-this-fucking:

-Look at this Fucking Badassery-

The whole time I watched Black Swan this was all I could think about

Ah, Damion, how you jam my boner. <3

funnyordie:

7 Examples of White People Ruining Hip-Hop

Conor Mangan’s wet dream…

thedailywhat:

[pleatedjeans.]

I lol’d

thisiswhyismoke:

It’s winter break. Here are snippets from conversations and quotes from my mother. For reference, Azade is my sister and Angelo is my little brother.

Mom: This is my Christmas; don’t ruin it again, Alex.

Mom: Do whatever makes you happy. And being a physician will make you happy.

Mom: I want to send you guys to Costa Rica. Go next week.
Me: Why?
Mom: Because, I want to send you somewhere you’ll enjoy.
Me: Okay, then send me to Boise, Idaho.
Mom: Why Idaho?
Me: Because, it’ll be fun. I’ll enjoy it.
Mom: But you’ll freeze your nuts off. You’ll enjoy Costa Rica more.
Me: So I can be dragged around by your friend all day to see shit I don’t want to see?
Mom: No.
Me: Then send me to Boise.
Mom: (swallows pride) Okay.

Me: I think you have a gross misunderstanding of the English language.

1am
Mom: ALEX! GET TO BED!
Me (while in bed): I AM in bed.
Mom: No you’re not! Get to bed!
Me (sarcastically): Oh, shit. This isn’t my bed. Where am I?

Mom: Why don’t you believe in God?
Me: Because I’m 23.
Mom: What does that have to do with anything?
Me: I’m too old to have imaginary friends.

Mom: Why don’t you believe in God?
Me: Because I don’t believe he exists.
Mom: Well, prove that he doesn’t.
Me: First, I believe there’s a teapot orbiting behind the Moon. Prove that there isn’t.
Mom: Well, it doesn’t matter to me if there is.
Me: And it doesn’t matter to me that you believe in an imaginary thing, either.

Mom: How many children do you want?
Me: 16.
Mom: I’m trying to have a serious and nice conversation.
Me: And I want my wife to have two litters of children.
Mom: If you’re not going to be serious, then shut up.
Me: I’m 22! I don’t even have a girlfriend! I’m not out of college! Why would I want to think about children!?
Mom: I’m just trying to have a conversation with you.
Me: Fine, I don’t really want my wife to have 16 children.
Mom: Then how many do you want?
Me: Oh, I want 16. I just expect her to have some before we get married.
Mom: Death glare

Mom: Azade’s in Japan? Here, tell her to contact my friend there.
Me: Okay, what’s her info?
Mom: Here.
Me: Okay, how did you two meet? When? How old is she?
Mom: We met in the airport in Hawaii a year or two ago. She’s about Azade’s age.
Angelo: That lady that never replied to the e-mails?
Mom: She replied to one of them.
Me: Wait, what e-mails?
Angelo: She replied to one, but the next three she ignored.
Me: What’s going on here?
Mom: Maybe she didn’t get them.
Angelo: That doesn’t seem right.
Me: There were e-mails? What’s going on?
Mom: I told her my kids would contact her, so Angelo e-mailed her.
Me: Oh, so some random person decided it would be a grand idea that her kids contact another random person?
Mom: She knows who we are. Now, tell her Azade’s coming to visit.
Me: But what if Azade is nowhere near her?
Mom: How big do you think Japan is?
Me: Larger than you think, apparently. It’s like saying “Oh, I’m in the US. Come visit me. Oh, you’re in California? I’m in Iowa.”
Mom: Just send Azade her info.
Me: What’s that symbol here?
Mom: That’s a smiley face.
Me: It’s in front of the phone number.
Mom: It’s a smiley face.
Me: I think it’s the area code.
Mom: Whatever.

(Nurse commercial playing)
Me: Maybe I should be a nurse.
Mom: You’re just trying to break my nuts, aren’t you?
Me: Excuse me?
Mom: You heard me.



Expect more next week.

thedailywhat:

Bunday Surprise of the Day: From The Mainichi Daily News comes a report that Okunoshima Island, home to the infamous Imperial Army’s lethal gas production facilities from 1929 to 1945, is now a place of refuge for hundreds of adorable bunnies.

Many visitors to Okunoshima Island, located some three kilometers off the Hiroshima Prefectural city of Takehara, are bringing their cameras to take photographs of the rabbits, next year’s zodiac animal, for their New Year’s greeting cards and personal blog sites. Today, there are some 300 rabbits living on the island. […]

It is believed that rabbits were first taken to the island in 1971, after an elementary school in Takehara found it difficult to keep the animals at school. According to the Kyukamura Okunoshima resort hotel, most of the visitors to the island consisted of students on school study trips and senior tourists.

[japanprobe / geekosystem.]

via thisiswhyismoke:

4 cigarettes while driving home.

That’s a ~3 hour drive. My mother called me this afternoon to remind me that I need to drive home. This was our conversation:

“…hurry up and drive home. It’s getting dark”. It was 1:13pm.

So I drive home around 3pm. I had to stop by Wal-Mart to pick up oil for may car. I forgot Christmas was close. It explained why the parking lot was in chaos. It was an okay drive. Long and drawn out, but okay overall. I hate that drive because it’s boring. The drive back to Merced is worse. There’s a Christian billboard that either says “Jesus Died For Your Sins” or “God Loves You”. Thank you, Christians, I almost forgot. That billboard makes me want to be a better Christian. Or Hell, it makes me want to convert. That one billboard. Thanks.

liberdade:

SHOCKING NEWS

PHOTO SHOWS GLENN BECK IS A MUSLIM 

Because all you need to make an ‘offensive’ or ‘shocking’ accusation is a little bit of Photoshop. 

thedailywhat:

Declaration of the Day: The key portion of Federal Judge Vaughn Walker’s ruling in the case of Perry v. Schwarzenegger.

So let it be written. So let it be done.

[ slog / andrearosen.]

(via loveallthis)